YOU DIDN'T

Saw you for the first time, Most beautiful smile

My body stayed still, But my heart it went wild

I thought you'd look at me too

but you didn't

Falling In love Never felt So easy

Falling for your eyes like drowning in deep sea

I wished you'd fall for me too

But you didn't

A girl like you I didn't even Deserve

When you smile, whole world falls in love

I wished you'd smile for me too

But you didn't

We started talking I was never so happy

how i really felt couldn't really come out of me

I thought you'd say it first

But you Didn't

You fell in love with Another guy

You didn't even stop to watch me die

I wished you'd come back for me

But you didn't

Was Left heart broken, didn't know what to say

All the chances that i missed, but i miss you anyway

I thought you'd miss me too

But you Didn't

Holding my tears, My inside was dead

Eating my fears, burning like a cigarette

I thought you'd comfort me

But you Didn't

Getting weak, wanted to see your face once more

Then only I could die a happy Man for sure

I hope you'd come knocking at my door

But you didn't

He left you heart broken, And said goodbye

It gave me a little bit of hope inside

I thought you'd come running at me

But you Didn't

I can never hate you, But I hate how much i love you

You were the only one, Can never put anyone above you

Only if you'd feel the same

But you didn't

Stay away from love everyone said to me

But your eyes keeps me away from all of reality

I wished you'd help me find the way

But you didn't

My body was weak, But my heart felt strong

If only I could, I would have written for you thousand songs

I know you'll never understand me

And you didn't

Saw you for the last time standing by my side

Nurses said its time to go, No tears came when i cried

You asked me to come back safely ,And you'd be waiting outside

I said I couldn't And I didn't

i'm still not giving you up .

I'm  not , i'm not giving you up , i'm keeping you in a safer place , a place where i can never lose you , a place faraway from all the troubles and sadness , you are more than just a real thing , you are above reality for me , you are every right thing i thought was wrong , you hold half of me , all of me . i'm not giving you up , i'm conserving you , or at least the idea of you .

First a said to myself , just write something superficiel , something you can share with people , then i thought to myself , why ? why lie in moments where i need to be true . the idea of losing you , of ending you , is much more bigger than a distance or a troubling thought , it is so deeply engraved in me than you'll ever know ; it lays in my past and will remain forever , the idea of being walked away from , eats me alive every night .

how can you expect from a girl that has been abandoned from the closest man to her , to be a sane person , how can you expect from a  girl who lacked love , to give love , how can you expect from a girl so scared to not want to anticipate the hurt . i know for a fact , that you and every other person in my life is going to walk away . therefor , i do what enzymes do the best , i accelerate the processes , First  i let you in , i let you devore me , and then i start , i start releasing my venimes , i become toxic and last thing you know , you start to hate me , you less tolerate me , and lastly you just walk away .
Then comes the part , the most interesting part , where i convince myself that i was right once again , that all men are the same , and that if my own father did not stick for me , Why should you ?